Having a bad "down day," I guess it's to be expected

[FirstLight]

7. 1:45 a.m. woke up ate a piece of bread with some butter I went back to bed

I really hate it when depression hits. It's so hard to shake off. I've been doing so well with therapy and doing so many positive strides and now I feel like I'm just back under fucking mountain of bullshit. Kids won't be able to rent an apartment until they have a couple paychecks under their belts so it looks like I'm stuck with them for at least a month or so I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. But it's not their fault it's me I'm the one that can't handle cohabitating but I don't want my children to die of freezing to death or starvation either. Half a foot of snow or more outside I hate winter and makes it even worse if I could I would run away to the fucking Bahamas right now or just run away. I'm going to go cry some more and go back to sleep