Having a bad "down day," I guess it's to be expected

[FirstLight]

Last edited Fri Jan 3, 2025, 05:44 PM - Edit history (1)

They can't all be up days, right?

I woke up with my tolerance level for my son and his girlfriend and their situation kind of up to my eyebrows. I mean I didn't want them being homeless and living the way they were so I invited them here so that they could get on their feet, it's just taking longer than we all expected. And his girlfriend is a horrible housekeeper. Which makes it very rough for me when she does not clean up after herself in my kitchen after making the family dinner. So I woke up this morning to what was left of chili cheese dogs in my kitchen and I couldn't even get a cup of coffee without wanting to barf. I will have to talk to them and have a house meeting with them later.

And then I had physical therapy at noon. This is the physical therapy that was supposed to accompany my back injections that I received at the beginning of October. But because of all the shit that went down with River, obviously all of my doctor's appointments and physical therapy got pushed. So not only did I have to go and recount all the trauma to my physical therapist, but I also have to admit the fact that she fucked my back up again and possibly even worse than it was before. I'm really pissed. Normally those injections will help me with the pain for up to 9 months. And now I'm back to square one all over again and I can't do shit. I can't even stand up in the kitchen to cook dinner for more than 15 minutes at a time. So all the range of motion tests and everything just show them pile of nothing right now as far as my body goes it's just so frustrating.
So now after all the poking and prodding I feel worse and I'm also traumatized and sad and crying. So I just came home and put myself back to bed and took a couple gabapentins for the nerve pain. I hope I wake up on the right side of the bed because right now today sucks.


I mean I know we can't have all beautiful perfect flowers and sunshine all the time, but nobody likes feeling like this. And I've been making such good progress that it really feels like I'm backsliding even though I know it's not the reality.

[questionseverything]

1. I'm sorry you're having a rough day

One thing stood out to me though, if the gf cooks , why can’t your son do the clean up?

Whatever happens, no way you should be cleaning up after them

[FirstLight]

2. He actually did clean up after her this morning

But it's ridiculous that she thinks that he's going to clean up after her and work 40 hour a week job or more doing deliveries..
She thinks she's going to be a stay-at-home mom she's got another thing coming. And if you do stay at home with the kid, then you got to take care of the home... 🙄

They're young they're in their twenties like literally 21 and 22. And her family never taught her anything about taking care of shit so I understand what I'm working with. And my son is actually being way more mature about everything than I expected him to be. But after all the trauma that I just went through I really do need my own space so the sooner they can get on with their lives the better and then I won't give a shit about what she does in her own kitchen

[questionseverything]

3. I didn't know he was working and she wasn't, although many times

My hubby will wipe up and put away dishes while I’m washing them, just to keep me company

Do they already have a child?

[FirstLight]

4. She does

He met her when the baby was a year old and they've been together for a year she's almost two...

Of course now I fear that he's got himself suckered into a situation that he's never going to be able to recover from but he loves the baby and he loves her so who am I to say?

[Zackzzzz]

5. I Have Pictures

When I have the thought, "I can't have nice things", and when I get overwhelmed by others, I look at a few pictures I have collected to help me clear my mind. One picture is a peaceful green Japanese garden the other is just the grass of a green baseball field. The cross hatch groundskeepers make. I hadn't thought of flowers. I am so sorry for your pain.

[Clouds Passing]

6. Hugs and comfort

[FirstLight]

7. 1:45 a.m. woke up ate a piece of bread with some butter I went back to bed

I really hate it when depression hits. It's so hard to shake off. I've been doing so well with therapy and doing so many positive strides and now I feel like I'm just back under fucking mountain of bullshit. Kids won't be able to rent an apartment until they have a couple paychecks under their belts so it looks like I'm stuck with them for at least a month or so I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. But it's not their fault it's me I'm the one that can't handle cohabitating but I don't want my children to die of freezing to death or starvation either. Half a foot of snow or more outside I hate winter and makes it even worse if I could I would run away to the fucking Bahamas right now or just run away. I'm going to go cry some more and go back to sleep

[WDLAL]

8. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with back pain and depression.

In spite of that, you extend grace to your son and his girlfriend even though they are causing you stress. You are very thoughtful to take them in and to be understanding of their youth and inexperience. Hopefully, your house meeting will make conditions acceptable until they get their own place.