I don't know if this is okay to put here

[karin_sj]

87. I'm so sorry that you are going through this

I know exactly how you feel. My mom died last September at the age of 91. We were really close so it's been very tough to lose her. My sister and I also went to her room to see her before she was picked up before the transfer. It's a really difficult and sad experience, but I'm glad that we did that for both her and my dad in 2016. Being the oldest and living the closest to her, I was responsible for every aspect of her life. She lived in assisted living and had Parkinson's and other issues that kept her wheelchair bound, but her mind was still sharp. My brother lives far away, so he couldn't help, and my sister about three hours away. She's helping as much as she can.

You will get through this. It's really daunting because there are so many things to do. Here's a pretty comprehensive list from the AARP. Not everything will apply, but it is good for seeing what needs to be done:

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/when-loved-one-dies-checklist.html

Make sure you get several copies of the death certificate and always ask if they (bank, credit cards, cemetery, etc.) need an original copy—usually they will take copies. I made a checklist of things that needed to be done. If you are computer savvy, use a checklist program (I used Reminders in the Mac) to make a list of things you need to do and check them off as you go along. I shared the list with my siblings and assigned certain tasks to them that they were agreeable to. It was a huge list but now I'm down to about five items, which is a big relief.

Again, I'm really sorry for the loss of your mom. It's such a hard thing to go through and things are heartbreaking and daunting right now. But you'll get through it. Give yourself time to grieve and be easy on yourself.