I don't know if this is okay to put here

[MadameButterfly]

11. You need to take a deep breath and just mourn a little.

Can the funeral home hold her body until you can make arrangements? You can't do anything about snow and and timing of a president's death. Maybe that is the Universe telling you to pause.

Yes, you want to honor your Mom. But the ceremony is for you. To help you celebrate her life and grieve the loss. Do whatever helps you. She is just fine (IMO), finallly out of pain, at peace, looking down on us all, and not caught up in petty things like how well we manage funerals in our time of grief. She will know and feel directly your love, whatever you do. (Don't mean to push my religion on you, no offense whether you take it or leave it).

Strife with siblings can make funerals harder. You want to be supporting each other but our patterns with each other don't just go away in the face of difficult logistics. Understand that this happens a lot. Can you find someone to help you through this? I had a family member who was a minister who got me through my brother's death. I wouldn't have made it. He told me, "My business is death." Which sounds strange, and would never have occurred to me, but yes he is there for every. parishoner who loses a loved one.

You say you aren't a Christian but there are all kinds of counselors who have this expertise. Do you have some close friends you can confide in? It sounds like your siblings aren't where you'll get support. Love them as much as you can but don't set unrealistic expections or hopes around them. Find a support system you can rely on.

Sorry to pile on so much advice--I'm not a therapist--just been through a few funerals lately. Wishing you peace and resolution.

And thanks to the service of your father, and your mother at his side all those years.