General Discussion

NNadir

(34,898 posts)

33. That reminds me of the old Soviet joke. A man shows up at a news stand every morning, buys the paper, looks...

Tue Dec 31, 2024, 10:29 AM

Dec 31

...at the headline, and then throws the paper in the waste basket.

After a time, the news stand attendant can't stand it, and asks the guy why he does that.

The guy answers, "I'm looking for an obituary."

The news stand attendant says "Those are on the last page."

The guy answers, "The one I'm looking for will be on the front page."

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eppur_se_muova LeftishBrit yellow dahlia Different Drummer calimary

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Highlight:

DU has disappointed me yet again [View all] Orrex Dec 31 OP

hoping for success in your endeavor rurallib Dec 31 #1

More drones coming soon. I prophecy. BoRaGard Dec 31 #2

He can't die until ... JustABozoOnThisBus Dec 31 #3

Ha mountain grammy Dec 31 #7

Even AI chatbots can't do that IronLionZion Dec 31 #9

Alas! ChazInAz Dec 31 #16

Or Christopher Hitchens! tonekat Dec 31 #25

Don't forget Mark Twain wcollar Dec 31 #49

And yet Groucho speaks from the beyond: AZ8theist Dec 31 #62

If we can get somebody 'from beyond.....' MyOwnPeace Dec 31 #67

OMG!!! Funny!!! n/t SupportSanity Dec 31 #34

When the time comes I'm guessing these two won't make the cut. Xavier Breath Dec 31 #45

Bwaaaah malaise Dec 31 #4

Well, he ain't getting any younger. Take heart -- oh how the champagne will pop. nt allegorical oracle Dec 31 #5

And there will be dancing in the streets! 💃🏻 LuckyLib Wednesday #81

I've been checking every morning for years IronLionZion Dec 31 #6

Better luck tomorrow. mountain grammy Dec 31 #8

This message was self-deleted by its author dalton99a Dec 31 #10

Fortunately nowforever Dec 31 #11

Don't worry, President Mush will be in charge Wicked Blue Dec 31 #22

I've been waiting to exhale. yellow dahlia Dec 31 #42

That bottle of Champagne is going to be sweet nectar!! aeromanKC Dec 31 #12

Us too. We have a bottle of Moet yellow dahlia Dec 31 #38

I have a bottle of the Widow chilling. My friends and I deserve it ( late niyad Dec 31 #68

Hell, right now, I'd settle for reports of a bad case of diarrhea. KY_EnviroGuy Dec 31 #13

Good one! It's like an old joke PJMcK Dec 31 #14

Thanks, I was going to post that if no one else did ! I re-read it just recently here on DU, but don't remember ... eppur_se_muova Dec 31 #35

Perhaps we need a series of visualization exercises EYESORE 9001 Dec 31 #15

Yeah...and nothing more than visualization, eh? Reminds me of the "olden" days when the late allegorical oracle Dec 31 #41

I get up every morning for the same reason. Greybnk48 Dec 31 #17

Thankfully, he has all the personality of a pile of trash (and a great deal niyad Dec 31 #29

My feelings surfered Dec 31 #18

I thought of this meme when I read the OP LetMyPeopleVote Dec 31 #52

This message was self-deleted by its author dalton99a Dec 31 #19

Something about Threads Like This Is Very Disturbing. MineralMan Dec 31 #20

You gotta have hope, Orrex Wicked Blue Dec 31 #21

Not to worry. Tomorrow we'll be dancing in the street. chouchou Dec 31 #23

Keep the hope alive. That's all we can do. It's going to happen, it's a fact of life. Autumn Dec 31 #24

I share in your disappointment. Every single morning. niyad Dec 31 #26

You should use the sarcasm thingy, don't doc03 Dec 31 #27

I agree 👍 I'm waiting for that to happen too. TommieMommy Dec 31 #28

lol. i used to go to a twitter feed: "is mitch mcconnell dead yet?" (they posted every day. he never was.) nt orleans Dec 31 #30

Mitch gets treatments. usonian Dec 31 #46

God I was just looking for the same thing! ananda Dec 31 #31

Out of order IbogaProject Dec 31 #32

That reminds me of the old Soviet joke. A man shows up at a news stand every morning, buys the paper, looks... NNadir Dec 31 #33

Ah, you're the one ! I knew I had read that recently (see Reply #14). nt eppur_se_muova Dec 31 #36

I'm watching the front pages every day. calimary Wednesday #86

I bet many Russians right now are looking for the same sort of obituary. LeftishBrit Sunday #87

Do you really want President Vance? LeftishBrit Dec 31 #37

The way I look at it Demobrat Dec 31 #73

It's not DU's fault Clouds Passing Dec 31 #39

Thank you for the good chuckle. yellow dahlia Dec 31 #40

I have this funny feeling - next year is going to be different ... FakeNoose Dec 31 #43

Because what you wish on others. ThePartyThatListens Dec 31 #44

Since nobody has the cojones to post: Here. WARNING! ⚠️ That face that launched 1000 shits. ⚠️ usonian Dec 31 #47

Nice collection! canetoad Dec 31 #48

When not doing computer graphics (less the AI stuff) usonian Dec 31 #54

You made mama's pasta 'gravy' recipe! sprinkleeninow Wednesday #83

The store stuff always tasted like pizza sauce. usonian Wednesday #85

Maybe tRump can perform oral sex on a cruise missile Seinan Sensei Dec 31 #76

Best hummer ever. Nobody can make it ... usonian Dec 31 #77

I'm disappointed daily as well! pandr32 Dec 31 #50

I just hope I live to see the day when I'm here and he's not. (nt) Different Drummer Dec 31 #51

! Marcuse Dec 31 #53

LOL Kali Dec 31 #55

Yea, I didn't see it either. dmr Dec 31 #56

Orrex buys a newspaper every morning... jmowreader Dec 31 #57

Lol, great post. Dave Bowman Dec 31 #58

I'm reminded of the time that Donald Rumsfeld was giving the president his daily briefing. Dr. Strange Dec 31 #59

Yup...everyday we all wait for that piece of news! PortTack Dec 31 #60

This works well as a browser start page: LudwigPastorius Dec 31 #61

Same Here WiVoter Dec 31 #63

that guy is super lucky ecstatic Dec 31 #64

But then we'd be stuck with Vance Indyfan53 Dec 31 #65

Then I'll have something new to wish for. Orrex Dec 31 #75

Same here 😹 Meowmee Dec 31 #66

I FOR one hopes YoshidaYui Dec 31 #69

Sounds like a Festivus "Airing of Grievances" Blue Owl Dec 31 #70

I am concerned about this Dan Dec 31 #71

Hope springs eternal, though. alarimer Dec 31 #72

I'm still in the planning stages Blue_Tires Dec 31 #74

You know DU would crash because of the traffic! LeftInTX Dec 31 #78

I hear ya. Eko Dec 31 #79

Really, how hard is it to hit one guy with a lightning bolt? tclambert Dec 31 #80

Never had a welcome to wear out either. czarjak Wednesday #82

I'm with you..... EJRocketMan Wednesday #84

Sorry to disappoint apeshot Monday #88

im still waiting for dead pool...or better yet.. samnsara Yesterday #89

What is holding you back? The Grand Illuminist Yesterday #90