Bad news in the family has turned my MIL into an ugly person.

[Ilsa]

She had been doing pretty well recently. Then my husband and I were notified in the morning by his cousin that her brother had died. I told my spouse that I didn't want to give his mom the bad news on my own and I'd wait and we'd tell her together.

Then she found out from her other son about the death, and told me that her other son would tell her granddaughter. Turns out, the other son said that she told him that she would tell her granddaughter. But somehow, I got blamed for the granddaughter nit being notified.

And it wasn't in a kind way. Every malevolence was included in the attack on me, including ancient history. I was told that I was not family, and that her family all hate me. She jyst wanted to be vicious. I finally decided I wasn't going to take the abuse any more and I insisted she return to her basement apartment and leave me alone. Furthermore, her drama was upsetting my special needs son.

She also turned on her son, my husband. She called the police on him because he wouldn't give her the phone number of her niece, his cousin, so she could harass her. We spent an hour dealing with the police call, showing them her meds for her dementia, and explaining that the death in the family set her off.

The next morning she told me she was filing charges against her son, claiming he manhandled her trying to take her phone away (didn't happen). She hasn't done that, but I worry that it could happen.

I am of the opinion that we are not required to put up with abuse when those with dementia are living in an alternate reality. I also feel like the abuse should not be tolerated, but shut down by simply walking away from it.

Is there any reason to have to listen to offensive crap?

I have that other thread in this forum.