The number mental health advocates want you to talk about

[hunter]

1. I took the quiz twice, once for my last "off my meds" episode, and once for today.

My last "off my meds," score, as I've recreated it from memory, and disregarding the fact that I would have not taken this quiz in my "off my meds" state, was 77. High depression, high anxiety, high PTSD, low bipolar.

Today's quiz, on medicines I hate but take anyways, I score 45, "medium." I'm sure I've been in brighter places but these are difficult to remember when I'm not actually in a brighter place. I can always recall the wretched places, even if I wasn't aware they were wretched places when I was there. I've mentioned it before, but my ability to judge my own mental state is the first thing that flies out the window. I may be in the dark, but I'm not quite aware of it, certainly not enough to take any action. I can't promise I'm not in a shadowed place right now.

I remember taking a test like this at one of my worst times, and it was very, very dark. The therapist gave me the hotline card for the 24 hour emergency mental health clinic (one to my wife too) and set up an evening appointment with her the very next day after her regular hours. I didn't feel that close to the edge, but maybe I was.