Virginity, Violence and Male Entitlement

[davidthegnome]

6. It's rare, but not THAT rare.

A whole lot of people just lie about it. Especially men. You can hear all about it in locker rooms, in random conversations between guys when they meet up. They lie about girls almost as much as they lie about the size of their twinkies.

There is a societal expectation that we have either had sex by the time we're 18 or so, or that we at least lie about it. I mean, who wants to star in their own forty year old virgin movie?

That said - I don't think anyone owes it to anyone, but I do think it's a shame that we live in a society where sex is such a taboo subject, even when it's all around us in movies, video games, media, music... our culture is obsessed with it, but there's a dark under-current that somehow suggests that it's sinful, something we should feel guilty about. I don't think that our physical bodies and their natural desires should be a subject for shame and ridicule.

I was raised Catholic - people told me when I was a boy that pre-marital sex was wrong (it makes baby Jesus cry, or something) and that I should get married before I did it. As a boy, I nodded my head, because I didn't understand it, I didn't know what puberty was yet. As I get older, the notion is absolutely bizarre to me. Why on earth would anyone get married with someone they might have absolutely no sexual compatibility with? Love, I guess. Maybe intellectual or emotional connection. But most modern relationships require that kind of compatibility for success.

Getting back to the original point though - I expect that it wasn't just the sex issue for Rodgers. He was a confused young man who seemed incapable of understanding the notion of responsibility. If women didn't want him, he should have cleaned himself up, been less of a jerk, moved to another place, hired an escort. Hell, there are any number of things he could have done. His decision to commit murder, based on hatred and the notion that he somehow deserved sex, costs him any respect, sympathy, or understanding I might have had for him.

How was this guy educated? Did he have sisters (which might have increased his understanding, somewhat, of the female gender?) Was his upbringing a religious one? Often, the confused notions of sex common in religion frustrate the hell out of young men. Having been a young man - having had my own difficulties with the opposite sex, I understand loneliness, I understand desire and frustration. I don't understand the hate, the violence, or the narcissism though, that leads one person to think that they deserve sex, that it's all everybody else's fault if they can't find a girlfriend.

I think our society encourages loneliness, narcissism, sex obsession - and overall nervous breakdown. I feel that we really need an educational system which focuses, not just on academics, but also on sociological and psychological issues. There's a reason there's so much violence in this Country - and a lot of it comes from a lack of education and understanding.