When do you ever stop crying?

[barbtries]

48. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Today is the 21st anniversary of my daughter's death and I definitely do not cry the way I did when she was killed. Though my memory is not great around the first few months after she died, i do know that at about 2 1/2 months after she died as the shock began to wear off, I cried for a week straight. if I was awake I was in tears. I woke up crying and it's not at all unlikely that I was crying in my sleep. I cried so much I thought I'd earned the deed to the Pacific Ocean.

The crying is painful. It can be inconvenient, especially for others who may be uneasy around tears. But it's part of the healing process. You can call your doctor and she can probably prescribe a drug for you that will help you stop crying, but I would say consider a support group of bereaved people or grief counseling first.

I still cry, not nearly as often, not for such sustained bursts of time. I can't give you a timeline because everyone is different, but I can promise you that with time you will not cry so much.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love."
Washington Irving