Has anyone noticed siblings growing more distant and/or cutting ties after their last parent dies?

[whathehell]

My beloved dad died in 1997 at the age of 79 and my mom died ten years later at the age

of 87. I have only one sister and she and her two daughters (I'm childless) are all the remaining

family I have left.

For a year after my mother died, my sister, who lives about 700 miles away, called me at least

once a week. Although our relationship was never without problems, I did love her and cherished her and

my nieces as the remaining "family".

An argument involving all of them happened about two years ago, and though

all parties have since "settled" it, and claim to harbor no ill feelings, I am lucky now if

I hear from my sister a couple of times a YEAR. She's a smart person, but never the most introspective

or self aware, or for that matter, "direct" about her feelings, but when she said she wasn't angry, I believed her.

I SO miss her and the sense of family, but the last time I called my sister and simply REQUESTED

that we keep in touch more regularly -- not necessarily as often

as once a week -- She became quite curt, saying "If you want to call, call, if not don't".

When I responded -- in a mild, non-angry voice -- She started yelling. I don't even

know what she was yelling ABOUT, really, and so I told her, in a non-angry tone, that

I was getting off the phone. That was months ago, and I've yet to hear from her,

with the exception of one no-message birthday card she sent a couple of weeks ago.


I want to say THANKS to all who have taken the time to read this. I realize it's long and wordy, but I really do

want to hear about OTHER people's experiences regarding the impact of parental death on the remaining siblings.

Thanks again for anything you can offer.

P.S. My sister is semi-retired and has no children at home, although she does have a husband with
Alzheimer's who is being well-cared for in an Assisted Living residence located nearby.