It has been 4 years since my husband died

[Frustratedlady]

6. It's tough, but you will eventually move on and not have memories dominate your life.

However, we all grieve in different ways and over different timeframes. Women I thought would be OK, totally fell apart and basically quit living. They allowed the loss to take over their lives. You need enough time to grieve. No one should deny you that. It sounds like you are progressing just fine.

I think that having family helps a great deal, as they occupy your thoughts and fill the lonely hours. I found that the hardest parts to get through were the first holidays without your spouse or the hour(s) when you sat down together and discussed your day. I found that redoing a room helped a lot. Painting, choosing window treatments and furniture...just enough to change the appearance a bit helped a great deal. Picking up a new hobby also helped. I had always wanted to get back into painting. Even if I failed, it was a change that occupied my mind. Cooking meals for friends or family also helped and they welcomed it, as well.

Volunteering is also a good option. You find others who are hurting and handling their issues and it is a good incentive for you to do the same. We can always find others who are more needy than the situation you find yourself in.

I'm glad to hear you are slowly accepting and reconciling your loss. That has to give you the encouragement you need to adjust even further. Good luck.