3+ months after losing Mom, and I'm having more good days than bad... but

[Siwsan]

9. I lost my brother to suicide and my sister to cancer

He was just 25. She was just 58. My Dad was just 72. Mom made it to 87. I lost my sister and mom, just 3 weeks apart. All in all, in the last 5 years I've lost 7 family members.

When my surviving brother came down with Covid, back in March, I was frantic. Fortunately he got past it with no after effects.

It is so hard and I fully cop to having a big dose of 'survivor guilt'. But, I sometimes dig out old photos of the family and remember the good times we had. When ever I'm struggling to try and figure out how to do a home repair, I think of my Dad and how he would handle it. Same thing when I'm cooking - I think 'What would Mom add to this?' My sister was an avid gardener and I feel her around when ever I'm out working in the flower beds. My brother - we were 18 months apart, and were very close. I just think about him all the time.

So for me, at least, grief is an ongoing processing of memories and emotions.