My husband died Jan 14 [View all]
I'm doing fine. Actually, that is the problem. I expected to feel more grief and sadness. He had his first heart attack in 1998, and had a three-way bypass. In the interim, he had two more heart attacks and the cardiologist placed stents. Then, two weeks ago, he died in his sleep after feeling ill with flu-like symptoms for a week. He kept telling me he wasn't having a heart attack. Wouldn't let me take him to the doctor. The doctor had told me in 2009 that he likely would not survive another heart attack.
The funeral went fine, the kids (three step, one mine and his) are all grown and are grieving profoundly; I went through it all like a well-trained seal, working the room like I do at parties and helping everyone feel at ease. I went back to work the day after, and was rather flaky for a few days, but yesterday I was like my old self and had a great day at work, and even laughed several times. But I feel no real grief at the moment.
My mother said I am having a delayed reaction.
I'm starting to wonder if I'm a sociopath.
I should be feeling a lot of emotion here. Instead I feel numb inside and appear fine on the outside. We were married for 35 years. He was the love of my life.
Is this normal?
Anybody think I need help?
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