That was beautiful of you to share! ..I can truly relate to your concerns. I'm no intuitive, or maybe I am and don't know it yet, but I sense tremendous growth in the stillness between your words. Does that make sense?
It IS hard to do it all for yourself and to wonder if you can do it yet another day! I like what you said about your Elders advice. I have often asked, Why do I continually find myself alone..?
One time as an answer this is what I got..
The night before I dreamed I was looking at a book that was on my desk that I hadn't started reading yet... The next day I found the book and just randomly flipped through the pages, and happened to stop where the character was going through a similar questioning about loneliness. Another character said, that " You get your power from being alone here in the woods."
Something I do is a "Power-up"...
To MAKE myself feel better, to generate creativity, or whatever, I take a deep breath and FILL my heart with the greatest feelings of love I can muster...( for whoever, whatever, a nice beach trip, Johnny Depp(HAHA) whatever! I let it sit and glow as if I'm a candle... I flicker myself into a million different shades of light and hold onto it as long as possible.It is always renewable.
You can take it anywhere you go.
Another thing...Take yourSELF out on a date! NO distractions... Dress up for YOU!...The perfume no one else likes-Pshaw-spritz it on for YOU! Buy yourself flowers, movies, dining, the works...whatever or cuddle on the couch alone with yourself, and pick a great movie. When I do that, I always put on the most luxuriously comfortable pants or socks. Light a lavendar candle for YOU!
Crying is good. It always refreshes me to let it all out..
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