Whenever my sister calls me, she is looking for a fight. she finally found it.

[magical thyme]

I had felt her thinking about me in recent weeks, while I was dealing with getting the garden going and then the unexpected turmoil at work. I felt the anger and stayed on line and unreachable because I prefer seeking solutions to fighting. We are all in the same sinking boat. Fighting over trivialities will not plug a single damn leak, nor will it purchase a life raft.

Yesterday while I was at work, she left a message. So today I reluctantly called her. She tried to take a shot early on, but it failed. Everything was going really well. We were on common ground on the housing market, the dogs, the weather, work (I do; she hasn't for 25 years), corruptions, laughing about it, etc.

And then she started proselytizing about the poor, poor under first amendment attack Catholic church. Apparently she equates requiring insurance coverage for contraception with a 1st amendment violation. I thought they should be taxed, and then they can make their own rules here. And then she said what she thought was at the root of the country's problems -- everything was wonderful until we rejected morality and specifically the Catholic and Protestant religion. And then I said what I thought was at the basis of the problem, which is the pure profit motive at the expense of your neighbor. And how the past 2 centuries people in this country had unlimited resources, especially after committing genocide against the original people here, and we hit the sweet spot in the climate. But that we were reaching limits on our resources.

And then she had the fucking gall to tell me that as long as I believe that, I will lose everything and I will never have a nice life.

Excuse me? As long as I believe that the planet has limited resources and the climate is changing, versus believing her religious dogma, I will lose everything and never have a nice life?

Yes. That's right. blah...blah...blah.

I repeat. I walk outside and see ticks everywhere that weren't here 9 years ago. I walk into my garden and things are growing that couldn't grow 9 years ago. I see the climate change right in front of my eyes, and as long as I believe what I see in front of me, I will lose everything and never have a nice life?!?!

That's right. blah...blah...blah

I never hear the blah blah blah because for the first time in my entire life, and I mean the very first time, I am screaming at her. All my life she would just take off screaming at me for any little faux pax. Or because she felt like it. This time I've had it.

HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME?!? HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!!!! I HAD A NICE LIFE. I WORKED FOR IT. I EARNED IT. I PAID FOR IT AND IT WAS STOLEN FROM ME!!!!! WHILE YOU SAT AT HOME FOR 25 YEARS, I WAS OUT THERE WORKING AND EARNING MY NICE LIFE AND IT WAS STOLEN. HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING TO ME!!!!

And I slammed down the phone.

I realize she is sick. I realize that, in reality, she has had not got a nice life. She hasn't worked because she was treated badly (like me) and got headaches (like me). But unlike me, she had a husband who could and was willing to support her. All she had to do is believe his family's Catholic religion. Even though she had insurance, she didn't seek help for her various physical ailments, but just suffered and played the martyr. Until the broken ankle and then the cancer.

Her life is no better than mine, and no worse. Only different. I am healthy. She is not. I have a small house in a poor state, which I bought cash. She has a big, lakefront house within 3 hours of NYC, with a giant mortgage to go with it. I lost my career before 50, and have spent 9 years trying to rebuild. Her husband lost his career at 61 and can get social security in a year.

I would rather we talked and figured out solutions to our problems. I do not have the energy to waste on her endless need for endless fighting that solves nothing.