Attended an online Circle of Life last night [View all]
The guide mentioned my mother's name right out and told of a habit of clearing her throat often which my mother did. She wasn't a smoker just always had a dry tickle.
The guide said we got one question each. I asked about my chronic hives and their cause since I've been to 3 doctors with no clue. She said my Mom was telling her that I am far too nervous for my own good and that is what's triggering my immune system to over react. She said that I have to get it under control as soon as possible as it's hurting my heart energy too.
So I am wondering does that mean my heart is being damaged physically or just spirtually? I've been nervous and scared most of my life. I've been diagnosed with clinical and chronic depression, and anxiety disorder. Therapy and medication help some but have never cured either. I don't know how to suddenly stop being afraid or to start loving myself as I was told I needed to last night? My Catholic School upbringing taught me that loving yourself equalled pride and selfishness which are sins according to them. Part of me doesn't believe that but obviously some other part still does because I can't stop feeling worthless and guilty.
The guide suggested I learn to meditate and use lavender spray mist at night before I go to bed. I 'm going to try.