Yes, I have been sort of the "crone" in the group, the granny if it were.
There is always a lot of drama - relationship, health, etc. - in the group, but they have also helped me many times. I do know I am loved by each and every one. The dream I had the other day, which I won't recount, finally made sense when I thought about it. In essence I missed a very rare, wonderful opportunity and lifelong dream, choosing instead to help one of the group, and then that person took off and left me holding the bag ( in the dream )
It's just that I am exhausted, as you said, of putting others' issues ahead of my own. I have to stop and take care of me. I do have a lot of other friends who are there for me and willing to come to me. They lend an ear. Lend support. And are interested in moving forward and growing as people. I guess with the other "group" there is a sense of not really inviting positive change, but doing the same things expecting a different result. I don't judge but I just don't have the strength to be around it if that makes sense.
There is a lot of good in each and every one; it's just that I have to stop focusing on them and focus on me, as you've so astutely determined. I do a lot of other work around the community, and I have to face my own limitations too. I just don't like the feeling of turning my back on people, but I also don't want to get sucked back into other people's problems when I have enough of my own!
Thanks again and have an awesome weekend. The wind is howling outside, but I have an asparagus ( locally grown ) casserole in the oven and am about to make a tart using this crazy Parisian recipe and some frozen blueberries someone gave me. Insomnia is my very new best friend this week...again 
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