Which Wolf Will You Feed?

[get the red out]

4. I very much support freeing onself

I just don't identify that necessarily with "forgiveness". Forgiveness is too loaded of a term for me and if I use it, it defeats the whole purpose within myself.

I very much like the idea of releasing myself from attachment, that is so incredibly positive. In my mind, if I release myself from the attachment then what someone else has done is theirs, and not mine to "forgive".

I just see "forgiveness" as a negative, as using up one's own energy and somehow giving it to the bad situation or the cause of the bad situation. Like when some horrific event happens and a day or two later the media is hounding the victims asking if they "forgive" the deed. They are demanding that victims not detach, but put their energy out in a way that will console others not involved by saying all is well. That's what I think of when I think of "forgiveness". Another misuse of that concept is when a victim is told they MUST FORGIVE but are never presented with real tools to rebuild their internal feelings of safety and self-worth. I see that quite a bit. It makes me sad.