My letter to TFG

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Dear Ex-President Trump,

Just wanted to say you did a real bang-up job when you were in the Big O (my term for the Oval Office). I noticed when you were in office, you constantly brought up how many times you had to flush those new-fangled, high-efficiency toilets. It was refreshing to see the president tackle issues that were so important to the American people.

The reason I’m bringing it up is I just purchased a new toilet, and does that baby flush!!! Even when you take a huge dump, it clears the bowl in one! I can’t help but think it’s because of your behind-the-scenes efforts, they’ve perfected our toilets. Thanks for doing your part. You’re a real American hero and you should be proud of your work.

Now that you have a lot of free time, maybe you can tackle some of my other pet peeves. For example, I recently purchased a pound cake, When I looked close it said it weighed 12 ounces. Well, 16 ounces is my pound in my book. What’s the deal here? False advertising? If you’re interested, I have a bunch of other issues that need looking into.