How do I get through this?

[slightlv]

25. Thank you..

Tonight's one of those sleepless nights where I lay here with four of my cats, on the verge of tears. Breaking down isn't in the cards. I think I may take some to do that tomorrow with a close friend of mine around the corner from me. She and I share the joy of living with both lupus and fibro, so we're sisters of the heart in many ways. And I really feel I have to give myself permission to cry... at the hassles and the worries and the changes... But also at the sheer absurdity of it all.

And listen, I thoroughly get flooding if the guest room. For us, it was the family room, every time it rained. I guess the house shifted or something but at one point it was streaming in the bottom the door and halfway up the ramp to the kitchen David built for me... This house needs so much rehabbing, but I sunk my 401k into buying it outright with no mortgage to worry about come retirement. Neither of us realized just how much work and physicality it would take. Shoot... Just the move was enough to nearly do me in!

Tomorrow I plan to gather up the errant cat hair and try to clean around here. I plan on blasting Carry on Wayward Son to see me through. Its been my mantra for many, many years. That, and their song The Wall.

I know the friends who've helped money wise these past two weeks don't expect any payback, but it still worries me. I've always been the helper, not the helpee. Its pretty damned humbling.

Brightest blessings to you and yours...