I'm tired of pretending not to be depressed

[vlyons]

37. There are many styles, schools, and traditions of Buddhism

because it's been around for 2600 years. Buddhism is not a religion, it's a practice in learning to tame and control your thoughts and emotions. So if people tell you that depression is all mental and cheer yourself up, they are correct. But they fail to tell you HOW.

We do not proselytize to get converts. You have to ask for teachings, which you have done. I am affiliated with Tibetan Buddhism, which is very ornate and esoteric. Zen Buddhism is much more simple. And Thai, or Therevada Buddhism is more simple still. But all schools and traditions of Buddhism start with Buddha's 4 Noble Truths: suffering, cause of suffering, cessation of suffering, and the path leading to cessation of suffering. But there is no magic pill to make suffering go away. You have to actually practice a little self-discipline and do the work of meditation and living a healthier lifestyle. I always direct new folks to start with reading. Then find a Buddhist meditation center near you, where you can ask questions and practice meditation with others.

We call the endless thought stream, discursive mind, or monkey mind, because it jumps around so much. And it is that very discursive mind that we are trying to calm down through meditation and mindfulness post-meditation. I still have discursive mind, and I've been meditating for 45 years. But I don't take my monkey mind too seriously. It's just thinking. Don't beat yourself up too much. You start wherever you are by having a little love and compassion for yourself. You deserve to have some joy in your life.

I always recommend books by the Dalai Lama, whose books are clear, easy to read for non-Buddhists, and I find enjoyable. He's not the Dalai Lama for no reason! lol

Some books that I recommend are: "Beyond Religion"
https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Religion-Ethics-Whole-World/dp/054784428X

"How to Practice Meditation"
https://www.amazon.com/How-Practice-Way-Meaningful-Life/dp/0743453360/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=EZ20WDPTW2NM149MHM2V&dpID=4133VHHWJ1L&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=detail

"Start Where You Are" by Pema Chodron
https://www.amazon.com/Start-Where-You-Are-Compassionate/dp/1570628394/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1509094766&sr=1-8&keywords=pema+chodron