I'm tired of pretending not to be depressed

[donotpissoffacow]

15. Nadine, I know.

Some helpful hints:
-Every time a bad thought pops up it's ugly head, stomp on it and shove it back. Change your position, look out the window, grit your teeth and refuse to let it out. Tell it you have better things to do. Deliberately think about something else.
-turn up the corners of your mouth. Seriously. There's some long rigamarole about muscles and thought and it works. You have to concentrate which takes up thought space.
-when you do get out of bed, stand up straight. Tuck in the butt, pull up the ribs even if it's only five steps to the loo. Stomp a few ugly memories into the dirt. It's that muscle/brain thing again.
-meditate whether you want to or not. Even if you just sit there doing nothing. Then think about your slouchy spine. You can do something about that. Tell your mom you're going to sit there as long as you want. Make a bet on how long you can sit up perfectly straight. Check each vertebra and make sure it stays where it outta be.
-exercise even if it's only wiggling your toes...then your ankles...then...you get where I'm going.
-cry if you want to. You will eventually stop, even if you don't think so. Your arms and legs won't fall off, your brain won't explode. ( at least I don't think so...better check on that)
-use a mantra such as "the pain won't go away but I can learn to live with it". Say it every time you start to feel overwhelmed.
-If by any chance you get some health care, please keep in mind that Medicare will now pay for genetic testing of drug tolerance. Very important with dangerous antidepressants.
I wish I could help you. It's gonna suck everything out of you. Refill yourself with what you want.