Thank you so much!

[get the red out]

16. Update - Effexor REALLY SUCKED!

I have been emotional, and sometimes irritable, but I am off Effexor/Venlafaxine for a week now and have begun to be able to actually feel some positive emotions for the first time in a very long time. I am not sure when Effexor finished completely wiping all ability to feel the slightest bit of joy out of my life, but it's been a while. Yes it helped initially, how long it actually continued to help me I'm not sure. When I would tell the Drs that it wasn't helping my OCD, or I literally couldn't feel anything good but felt plenty of the bad, the upped my dosage or told me that I wasn't working hard enough in therapy. I have now discussed this with my Drs and Therapist, I told them that I can't just accept feeling like I felt on Effexor and feel like it's because I won't help myself. I am already more than willing to blame myself for everything, and they need to help me figure out if a medication is not helping me. I was under the impression that not feeling joy was just the price I had to pay to not be driven mad by my OCD and depression. Ironically both of those problems are right now much better than they were for a long time on the medication.

I am still on Lamictal, which I tolerate very well and has been the real life saver for me. I wonder if it is possible to just take that and continue to be ok? I am scared to death of anti-depressants right now, withdrawals from Effexor and no joke! When I was young and drinking myself to death I literally had seizures in detox coming off mass amounts of alcohol and Zanex and it didn't feel anywhere near as bad as coming off this anti-depressant.