feedback sought

[nadine_mn]

11. I try to tell myself what I "hear" vs what a person actually says

Aren't always the same thing. My mom was/is extremely emotionally abusive and criticized everything I did. As a result, I over react to every criticism real or imagined and this has become a huge issue in my life.

A recent example, I submitted my resume for review to look see how to improve it (Monster.com). I got back normal, healthy constructve criticism: change format, shorten it, use more action words..stuff I know are legitimate things to work on. At least my brain gets that. But my emotional side went into a deep spiral of negativity. All I "heard" from the criticism was that I am a horrible person who can't do anything right.

I try to talk to myself and explain that this person has no idea who I am, therefore cannot possibly be judging me personally. I tell myself that I am reacting to past hurt that has nothing to do with current reality.

It's very frustrating...cognitively I know there is no reason to be hurt, but emotionally I am struggling. The whole therapeutic process of knowing you can't change how you feel, but you can change how your behavior in reaction to it... I get it. But I still feel hurt