aahhh the holidays. whose holidays are gonna suck?

[mopinko]

my turkey day will be better than last year, as i am going out for dim sum w some dear friends.
but the ex got the holidays in the divorce. so he is doing the turkey thing w the kids. out of the 5, 2 dont speak to me, one is far away, 1 is a pain in my ass right now.
so, my cooking a turkey wouldnt help at all.

last year ex took them all out xmas eve, had them over for dinner xmas day. by the time they straggled back after 8pm, i was curled up in a ball in bed, and they didnt bother to look for me.
this year i asked the youngest (22yo) to see if i could get a little more parity. i doubt they would exactly repeat all that anyway.

also told her that i would like to see her sister. not sure how true that even is, as i am pretty deeply wounded by the silence, and the bs that has caused it. the kid has some real issues, and imho, therapist help ingrain some delusions in her mind. her memories of her childhood are seriously screwed up. but since she barely excepts how sick she was/is, she cant seem to accept that her brain might have recorded things "wrong".
but i do miss her.

the oldest is just plain lost to me. i mostly have accepted that. the ex did her some real dirt, the true redheaded stepchild. no taking that back. i chose him over her, and the fact that i finally dumped him will not matter.
she was a hard child to raise from jump street. but in her mind she was a little angel.
c'est la vie.

wish the far away child was interested in coming home for a visit, but he is pretty content where he is. we have an itchy but loving relationship. everything i say strikes him as an attack of some sort. trying to figure that out and watch what i say. but.....
maybe next year.

anyway? anyone else care to share their tales of woe?