I have something uncomfortable to ask about someone (who may have borderline personality disorder)

[uppityperson]

1. Getting others to see their behavior realistically is very hard, sometimes impossible

You divorced a decade ago, yet are still attached? Trying to get him to leave you alone makes him worse and you are scared of him?

I don't have advice, but empathy. Been there, done that. I moved away and was still harassed, our child stalked for the last 15 years after child (young adult) told dad to leave him alone. I am lucky in that he was not violent, just very persuasive in getting others to his point of view which was I was Evil.

Have you a Domestic violence group where you live? They might be able to help, advice, recommendations, etc, as this is what they deal with. You are not alone in this. Best wishes to you, it sounds like it really sucks.