I have something uncomfortable to ask about someone (who may have borderline personality disorder)

[Sweet Freedom]

I am so sorry, but I'm hoping someone here has successfully dealt with a similar situation and can help me because I don't know what to do about my ex's behavior and I don't want to escalate the issue.

** I don't want to upset anybody, so if you think there is a possibility that this post may do so, please don't read any further.**







My ex and I divorced a decade ago. Anytime he sees me (usually at a school event), he'll call, text or email me within 24 hours about some happy memory of the past that only he has (I do not have fond memories of him). I have been very clear that he and I are done, yet he continues to contact me to reminisce, etc. He will not let go. I have repeatedly told him to stop, to no avail. Even though I let every call go to voicemail and I never answer these kind of texts, he uses any reason to reach out and try to connect with me--our anniversary, bad weather, a song, a commercial, etc.

I've thought about blocking his number, changing my number or obtaining a restraining order, but that will only make the situation worse (moving is not an option.) He has a criminal mind, a short fuse, takes everything personally and acts paranoid. He is intense, aggressive and impulsive. He loves drama and fighting, so I don't want to feed that. In the past, he also had drug and alcohol addictions and was verbally and emotionally abusive. (I don't know if he still uses drugs, but I do think he drinks.)

I think my ex may have borderline personality disorder. I can't be positive because I begged him for years to seek help and he refused. And I know that many mental illnesses overlap, but in seeking out professional help for myself after the divorce, I learned about the disorder and unlike any other, it describes him perfectly. I bring it up because it may be the basis of his behavior.

Has anyone here ever managed to sever ties with someone who has acted like this? (The relationship is not salvageable. He simply destroys every one he has.) Can anyone suggest something I can say that won't make the situation worse, but will make the point that his behavior is unhealthy and he needs to seek help so he can move on?

I would appreciate any advice.