I have reached a monumental decision in all of this. I am going to proactively out myself ...

[Denninmi]

... About my mental health diagnosis and history. As you know, my biggest fear has been having someone find out about my problems. I feared being branded, labeled. I think that was a very irrational fear. Everyone has problems.

I have a core group of about 10 people of true significance in my life. I intend to tell each of them exactly what happened. In full detail. They can then choose to do with this information what they wish. And I will deal with that, their reactions, one way or the other.

Either way, it will be done. And I can move on.

I think I have shown to myself and the world what I am really made of, kind, solid, strong. And I think I will be judged on the quality of my character.

I believe that this will go well on every front. And will ultimately make my relationships stronger. And it will replace fear with peace.

I do not fully yet understand why I felt I had to be so ashamed of having a mental health issue. I didn't do anything to cause any of this, things were done to me. It is in no way a moral or intellectual failing to admit that you are human and need help, the good among us know this, only the ignorant or the truly evil would believe otherwise. We all need help at times, we are all a little broken. When faced with another human being in that position, you can embrace the good in yourself and do what you can to help, even if that is just a kind word, or the lowest among us will do what they do, mock and ridicule, tear down, because it makes them feel just a little less inadequate, as if adding to the pain in the world will somehow bring them salvation.

I have PTSD. It causes anxiety, depression, very low self worth. I have proven myself worthy time age again in the past 14 months. I was brutalized, traumatized when I should have been comforted. And I survived it all, and I am still here, with the same hopes and dreams as anyone. I intend to have the kind of life I always deserved.

There are two types of people, good and evil. I have seen so much good here, people who listen, who learn about what they do not know so that they can understand, people who are willing to set aside prejudices and fears to do the right thing. As Liberals, we understand that it isn't about tearing down, it isn't about winners and losers, it is about building up so that everyone can be elevated. Peace and light, those are the goals.

With all my love to my great many friends. Namaste.