... implying some sort of acceptance.
We talk about "brain chemistry" but it's still difficult for us to see mental illness or injury as something physical.
I have some physical injuries that are healed as best they can be, but are still a nuisance. My knees and hips often hurt -- sometimes one knee or the other will stab me unexpectedly with a terrible pain that will cause me to stumble. I used to be able to take ibuprofen for joint pain but it now messes up my stomach. For now I tolerate the pain. In the future I may need stronger meds, or even joint replacements. (I hope not...) Evidently I was not born with the sort of knees able to withstand the abuse of my compulsive running and enjoyment of hard physical labor. I stopped running years ago because it simply hurt too much, but I'll still occasionally enjoy hard physical labor even though I always regret it afterwards.
I also have scars from accidents that don't trouble me at all. These are simply a reminder of my past, no different than the memory of the accident itself.
Our minds are physical organs too, just like skin or bone or joints. We all have differing capacities to deal with various sorts of mental trauma, and we are all born with differing capacities of specific function. My white skin is excellent for synthesizing vitamin D in the cloudy whether of Northern Europe, but it burns easily in the Southern California sun. I am covered with scars from sunburn. Likewise, someone with dark sun resistant skin would not have fared well in the malnourished Northern Europe of times past.
Some of us are sensitive to certain kinds of mental trauma, some of us less so. We can have two soldiers in identical horrific situations and one might come home with PTSD and be "scarred for life" while the other is apparently able to "put it behind them." We can have two children raised in situations of identical abuse, and one will suffer as an adult and the other will not.
Our society likes to claim it's "mind over matter" as if the mind and body are two separate entities, but I reject that. It would be the same as if somebody claimed I could sunbathe nude all day and by "force of will" refuse to get sunburned. That would be bullshit.
I "suffer" depression the same way I suffer fair skin. If I want to go out in the sun I put on sunscreen. If I want to be somewhat functional in this society I take anti-depressants.
Maybe your "mocking dreams" are like a scar on your skin. The wound is healed, the skin is functional, but you can still see the scar and it may or may not fade away as time passes.
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