You know what's really, really freaky?

[Neoma]

6. The worst was when we were adults and around each other.

I was even more of a "weakling" because I had double pneumonia in college. I keep going back to those years in my head, not purely because I was sick and dying, which is something horrifying in itself. But because my brother took more of an advantage due to my weakness. And he did keep me as isolated as possible. He went Bazerk when I went into a car with a friend. Kept reminding me that I have no "street sense" whatever that's supposed to mean.

I saw him for what that was then, but I automatically looked at the past and went, "but the hitting wasn't THAT bad back then." Which basically means I was minimizing the past events like he wanted me to.

I tried taking a picture of the huge bruise on my leg, since that was a rare instance of seeing the abuse. Well, I had a lot of trouble trying to capture it because it looked like my arm. That's how skinny I was.

Plus extra emotional abuse by my great aunt and uncle. (In a demeaning, "you're still a child" way.) Oh, and did I mention college? I went everyday, sick as a dog.



That was a bit over 4 years ago, and I still end up thinking about it.