My father found all manner of not understanding me to the point of utter disbelief on my part. Mockery was taken as physical threat (part of it, that you can't even tell the difference, and that in not being able, you also don't understand me, and the sad conclusion that there is no possible communication there...very saddening...failure to connect with a second "father". The hole in me in the shape of the parenting that wasn't.). A statement of karmic fact taken as physical threat ("
do this to me...) Something bad will happen to you"...KARMA, ffs. I wasn't even intense when I said it, yet again fear twists the experience into something not at all intended by me. facepalm. (No one gets that I knew what was going on and wasn't harmful. I was intense to attempt to get it to STOP.) He believes in universal action/reaction/karma; I have no part in the greater wheel of response. I want nothing to do with him ever again, whatsoever. He knows me not at all and there is nothing there for me whatsoever. Proven and proven again. What I DO want is for people such as this, who do NOT get it or get me, who cannot pause to consider that they are WRONG, who are causing me damage through ignorance, to go away and STOP getting in my business, which does not ever again involve them. Yes; people making decisions about my path, through ignorance or cruelty, upsets me. Go figure.)
My posting the soundbite is about letting people know what I'm up against, what I wish to be free from, so if claims occur against me, they'll know there are two significant sides to the story, not one. And that their side involves great, vast, unchanging, undeterred sickness. This post is self-preservation.
I'm trying. Get out of my life so I can succeed in my path of recovery. Love you bye bye.
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