having been raised in a similar situation and having raised 2 divergent boys while struggling as your brother is now. I can share one piece of wisdom that my therapist gave me: “If a parent gets it right 30% of the time, that’s enough. The kids will turn out fine.” I struggled against repeating my family’s abusive patterns all my life, until my kids turned 35 and 38. At that point, they were both taxpaying, employed loving husbands and fathers and I figured I could quit trying. They were raised. I stopped expecting perfection from myself, and just settled down to enjoy my family. Perfection is completely impossible and completely unnecessary! Outdoor play: do they still make supersoakers? Daddy and son would love 2 of them Hours of shrieking fun! My eldest grandson is autistic and my son got him a small trampoline for the backyard. My son is also a computer nerd, but the grins and shrieks of delight from his boys drew him into their world! Also, pillow fights are highly recommended. (Small boys, small pillows) As far as medication is concerned, stress causes lots of tummyaches. Try a half teaspoon of something sweet. Remember the old song, “ A teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down…” Try applesauce, try anything, and then follow it up with some crackers or Emetrol. Get the stress down and make it fun. My youngest had a stroke/seizure at 3 and lost his speech. Therapist said "make him smile a hundred times a day,” so I made sure he smiled every time he looked at me. It took 2 years, but his big brother started calling him Motor Mouth!n We made it out of our family blight, we can do anything! Parenting is hard, but perfectionism makes it harder! I hope both of you can relax and find something to enjoy every day! Hard times will pass! Good luck!
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