Having a hard time lately with anxiety and depression

[peppertree]

35. I hear you

I had something similar happen in '99 - a while ago, I know; but still fresh on my mind.

There was a bank co-worker who'd give me rides home, and we became close.

He was a Republican, and we'd argue over the Clinton impeachment and such - but we clicked, you know?

Before long, I found a position for the same bank but close enough to home to allow me to bike to and from work on my time. That seemed to be the end of our friendship too.

A month later, there was a robbery at my branch - and, little did I realize, I quickly became the 'person of interest' (about the only time anyone's shown interest in yours truly, truth be told).

A few days later, my friend shows up at home - unexpectedly. Though within minutes, he seemed anxious to leave ("did I say something wrong?" I thought).

Sure enough, I later found out he had a wire under his shirt. 'Painful' barely describes the feeling.

Well - fast-forward a year, and I tried restarting our friendship. I missed his company and witty sense of humor.

He was none too pleased to see me; I told him I had just been fired - he almost laughed (!). I tried again after a few weeks - but he was just as sore, if not more so. We never spoke again.

Years later, I found out he had been arrested on a minor pot charge in the interim - and was convinced I was behind it (fortunately, he was acquitted).

If only he had told me! But by the time I learned of it so much time had passed, I couldn't bring myself to call (plus, I no longer know where he lives or his number).

The moral of the story? I still don't really know. Except perhaps that I know what you mean.

And that so much in life, is misunderstanding.

Someday - I like to think - we all meet in the afterlife, and all these muddles can be explained.

In the meantime, I've found deep breaths and St. John's Wort to be great help. Here's to happier days, and All the Best!