About my official SS disability

[Not Heidi]

It took three full years for me to get my permanent disability. It should never take that long, not for anyone. It's disgraceful. Every piece of mail I got from SS was trailing red tape.

I'll try to describe my disability simply and without the life story. I hope to hear from others with similar afflictions.

The first part of my disability is ADHD. I was fired from my last two jobs for my inability to understand tasks, do things without numerous errors, etc. Multiple repeated training sessions proved worthless, despite my copious, detailed notes. I couldn't get things right.

The other part is mental illness. Bipolar, MDD, SAD, it goes on.

I'm not ashamed of being on disability. The things that disable me are just part of me, like my gray/blonde hair and my (somewhat inordinate) love for my fishes. 🐟🐠🐡 It took decades for the mental health problems, but now they're just one of the things that make me up.* The ADHD was always there, too; I just didn't know it had a name.

I don't tell people I'm on disability (unless they ask how I make a living). I just say I'm retired, which is true enough.

It makes me feel weird if I say, when asked why I'm on disability,** "ADHD," because half the world has it. It's chic. If I say, "I'm bipolar," I'm looked at like I'm a lunatic.*** And if I say "major depression" - well, one reply was, "Then why isn't half the world on disability?" (She had a point, even though she rolled her eyes at me.)

Hell, I may as well have told you my life story: this has become a tome. Thanks for listening.

Does this resonate with anyone? Please let me hear from you.

* A preposition isn't such a bad thing to end a sentence with.
** Shocked hell out of me the first time I was asked. Isn't that rather private?
*** Happens more than you'd think