Got some good news today! Equals Glamrock's a piece of shit.

[ShazzieB]

28. I told my daughter something a long time ago.

It was this: "If I ever get to where I am unable to care for myself, do not hesitate to put me in a place where I can be well cared for."

I meant it at the time, and I still feel very strongly about it. The last thing I would ever want is for her to put her life on hold and give up things she enjoys to wait on my ass hand and foot. She's an only child, so if such a decision ever has to be made, it will be on her alone (in consultation with her life partner), and I do NOT want her to agonize about it or (gods forbid) think she should feel guilty about it.

I don't know your mother, Glam, so I can't say for sure how she would have felt about this back when she still had the discernment to make an informed decision, but I would certainly hope that she would not want you to struggle indefinitely with trying to provide care that is way beyond your pay grade. You are NOT going to be abandoning her. Finding a top notch place to provide the care she needs is the OPPOSITE of abandonment, so please strike that word from your vocabulary right here and now (she said sternly).

That place you described sounds excellent. Your mom will be in great hands, she will get excellent care, and you will be around to watch over her and intervene on the (remote) chance anything goes awry. That does NOT equal abandonment.

Lastly, although I know it may seem counterintuitive, please know that beating yourself up with guilt is actually a choice, and you can choose not to do it. In my opinion, you have absolutely NOTHING - ZERO - ZIP - ZILCH - NADA to feel guilty about. I am confident that you are going to be doing something that's good for you, good for your wife, and - yes - very good for your mother.



I am sure that this is going to be a very emotional time for you, and that's to be expected. It's a HUGE step, a turning point in your mom's life and yours. Riding out those emotions is no doubt going to be a challenge no matter what, but I think that the more you can manage to give yourself permission to feel good about the positive aspects for everyone involved (INCLUDING your mom) and realize that you do NOT deserve to feel guilty about this, the better off you will be.