i posted this on fb today, i thought it might get an amen here.

[mopinko]

got into a fight w my best friend this morning because i woke up w a knife of pain in my back, so i thought i might need to explain to more than just one person.

i feel like i ought to put this out there.
i dont like to bitch about my health, or, frankly, to talk about it.
but i feel like maybe some of my friends are scratching their heads about stuff i am or am not doing, and i think it might help if i explained.

i have had a lot of ups and downs in my health for nearly 20 years now. i got bit by a mosquito, and came down w west nile. i never felt good again. i have fibromyalgia, and some autoimmune irregularities as well as 3 separate autoimmune conditions.

i have had creeping osteoarthritis for the last decade, starting w 2 vertebral disks that fell apart in '08.
2 years ago, i had to have my shoulder reconstructed, and now i have 2 hips and a knee that are a daily drag.
and i cant take most pain meds, as my intestines are sorta falling apart.

the last 2 years have been a steady downward slide.
at this point, i am barely functional.
tho i marvel at the number of seedlings and plants that i was able to produce this year, i also know how many failed, and why, and how much more i could have done w just a little more energy, and how much extra help it took.

i am grateful as all holy hell that i have the kind of support for everyday life functions that i have now, but i think everybody knows that that is a rose w many thorns.

through all this, i have never doubted that there was a fix out there that could at least make things better.
both surgeries were very successful, and made a massive improvement. meds have helped keep the fibro at bay for a long while.

but i turn 65 in a few short weeks, and it feels like there are no more peaks out there for me to climb. just a deeper and deeper valley, w no passes out.

so, if i miss your thing, even tho i said i was gonna be there a couple of hours ago, or it takes me several hours or even days to answer your messages, or it seems like i am always napping, now you know why.

no sorries or prayers or suggestions needed.
i just thought there were more than a couple people on this feed that might read this and go- ooo00ooh.

ps, if you post something that is the kind of thing that makes people w chronic illness groan or cry, imma delete it.
i have heard them all, i know they are well intentioned. but they can make us sickies a little nuts, and i dont want that to happen to any of my sicky friends.
i aint mad at ya. it's ok, but it's my thread here.