Surviving Stage 3 Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma

[purr-rat beauty]

When diagnosed I had no idea how intensive the treatment would be, even though it took a toll on my body, I was very much locked in as that patient and functioned instinctively throughout my days to get the radiation and chemotherapy completed. I was assured the prognosis was good and I have faith in that statement but recovery has been challenging.

With the kind of radiation to the throat ( adenoids and a few lymph nodes in neck ) I have had some significant and uncomfortable changes to my ability to generate saliva, swallow, taste, speak, and hear. I naively thought recovery would be progressive and swift but I am discovering is that it's more nuance, non-linear, and slow. Every day I hope to have a bit more moisture in my mouth without additives or liquids and that's not happening, food for the most part is bland and certain proteins/carbs take time to break down while eating. The scarring from the tumor may have caused blockages in my ears which ENT is taking their damn sweet time to get back to me and I don't want to be pissed about that. My libido is shot, confidence fried.

I am out on disability but am not sure how well I'll function with some of the brain fog, voice fatigue, and exhaustion from many nights of poor sleep. I'm frustrated as this is burdensome and I feel like a burden at times. Many have encouraged taking it easy on myself but I also want to feel normal again and that's just not happening on my time frame. It's been a few months and my PET is 2/18, obviously there's some anxiety of discovering if the cancer was eradicated or if further treatment is needed.