Saying hi and updating

[tavalon]

This doesn't really have to do with my co-addiction but I just left my husband and his new whatever and our son (that one hurts more than all the other combined). Actually maybe this kind of does. I have a bit of an affinity for ambien and anti anxiety meds. I haven't had anti-anxiety meds for years and well, I ran out of my ambien prescription a few weeks before I left. At least once a day I think about calling my psych doc to refill the ambien and to ask for a small prescription of an anti-anxiety. The pain and anxiety I'm feeling runs between 6 and 10 on the 10 point scale.

I've been gone for three weeks and I haven't made that call. Why? Well, there's this quote, I have no idea who to give attribution to, but it's The Only Way to Get Through this is to Go Through it. I have to feel the feelings and I have a pretty good idea that I would use either of those drugs to avoid going through this and there isn't any avoiding it, just delaying it. And no, I'm not drinking or smoking pot (pot's legal in our state, you know). Same thing. Now is when I have to go through this or else I get a short deferment. No avoiding it.

I've been sticking close to my Nar Anon group and I've been looking at Seattle Al-Anon meetings but haven't managed one yet. It's funny, I'm not dealing with an active addict anymore but as an ACOA, these guys just seem to help.