Hi. I'm new to this forum. My DH just got out of detox. He had been drinking behind my back for over 2 years.

[Bristlecone]

9. 12 step AA helped me.

I’ve been sober a long time now. But it was hard, I wanted to stop, tried to stop, but found I couldn’t stay stopped. And took me several goes at it, with varying lengths of time sober before I remained so.

I also can be introverted and don’t take well to “religion,” but I found people in AA who I could identify with and identified with me, and it clicked for the 1st 5 years or so and it helped me to stop drinking.

Now I stay in contact with many those people, and they are some of my best friends in the world, but I no longer attend with any sort of regularity as I did early on. For others it is a way of life, it gives them purpose, and they help others get sober almost daily. YMMV and there are many programs out there that can help.

There are also programs for folks like you, those that are married, or family/friends of alcoholics or addicts. Al-Anon is one I am familiar with and know members. Perhaps that can help your understanding and approach, because rightfully so, this hits you very hard also and these programs are for your healing.

Now for the hard part:
.3 seems more like 1/5th a day+ tbh.

And that pile of bottles may seem shocking to you, but as someone who hid their drinking for many years, it is nothing. Not discounting the seriousness of it, but it is not shocking in the least to the alcoholic community. And there is probably more, plus the empties he actually got rid of.

I truly wish both of you the best as this journey begins, it could be a long road. If you or he ever want to dm me to ask any questions, pls feel free to do so.