RUNNING AWAY

[tavalon]

3. Actually, I must disagree

Many, many years ago, I used a geographical to get away from my drug of choice. My drug of choice was a man called J. Now, a geographical alone, I can agree doesn't work. But that one was a pivotal part of my healing. As well, I hear so much about relapse when an addict goes back to the friend set they had before rehab, I can't help but think a change of scenery might help, not as a full cure, but as a chance to try something different.

My current relapse was as a result of letting my other partner from that time back into my life. Now granted, he wasn't an addict when I was with him, lo those 16 or so years ago, but I'm fairly convinced at this juncture that I'm the only Avalon I want in my life. I prefer that all my exes remain in Texas.

Wow, I just made it sound like it was the addict's fault that I fell. That isn't what I meant. I fell because I wasn't standing on solid ground anyway. He just helped make that abundantly clear. And thank goodness for that, because the 6 months of recovery I have under my belt are helping me as I face being the spouse of a person with cancer. I don't think I could do that without the 12 steps and the work I've already done.

Heck, I'm barely doing it. I'm down to an hour at a time. Forget one day at a time. Too long.