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tavalon

(27,985 posts)
3. Excellent share!
Thu Jun 21, 2012, 04:55 AM
Jun 2012

I'm actually a co-addict. Nar-anon to be specific. And, contrary to someone's popular opinion, we aren't the well ones who put up with you "losers" but in fact, we are also losers, even desperate losers. And as someone who is just now formulating who I am without a label, ie: Mother, Partner, Enabler, etc., this post is very relevant to me even though I don't drink or take drugs. My drug is enabling, being a Codie in the words of another Nar-anoner.

I'm not enabling today. Today (and tomorrow and so on) I'm a recovering enabler, trying to figure out just who I am after all.

The hilarious (not) thing is that enablers are almost always over achievers, giving their 110%, no one would call us losers, looking in from the outside but boy have we lost or given away so much of ourselves. Now I have to figure out how to be just good enough for me, whoever me turns out to be.

Thank you for that wonderful share. This is why I stop by DU these days. I had to give up politics in the pursuit of my mental health, but I love coming to see my peeps on the A&R group. You guys are the best people on earth. I wonder how many times you and all the others looking in have had that said to you? I truly believe there are no better people than the people who work the 12 steps, in any of it's myriad forms. They aren't perfect but they are in progress and that IS good enough!

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I'm saving this. Vanje Jun 2012 #1
what helped me most was getting out of myself NMDemDist2 Jun 2012 #2
I just printed this out tavalon Jun 2012 #4
Excellent share! tavalon Jun 2012 #3
This Vanje Jun 2012 #5
Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Addiction & Recovery»Changing the focus to who...»Reply #3