My 24 year old daughter is home, withdrawing from heroin.

[mntleo2]

31. He is 25 years old ...

...he is also having seizures, which I am sure were related to his use. As with you, I have learned way more about heroin that I ever wanted to know He also told me he has done crack and who knows what else?

A few days ago he had a seizure in a store and they took him to the emergency room. He had to have stitches in the back of his head because he hit a shelf before he hit the floor. He swore he was not on anything, but I do think this scared him even more because somewhere along the line, now he is going to have to admit whatever he has done to himself has now made permanent brain damage.

I am wondering what will hit us next. I told him how precious he is and that he could have a good future if he cleans up, but he thinks he can do it all alone when he needs help. Like I said, all that is left is some lame prayer that does little except maybe make ME feel better, which to be honest doesn't do much because all it seems to be is a bunch of empty words bouncing off the ceiling.

Thanks for asking, it is good to come here and know I am not alone. I know what you mean about addicts not being a voting block and how the System seems to ignore the issues.

I live in one of the highest income areas in my state and the locals say the epidemic is rampant here with teens. But the high schools actually HIDE the use from parents and pretend the child is "out of control" or worse just pretend the behavior is "other things" because they are afraid to admit how bad it is in their schools. Parents are then hit in the gut when their kids get into trouble (usually when they are over 18 when the truth comes out). Some parents I know whose daughter was admitted to the hospital gave birth to a son when she did not even know she was pregnant and worse ~ the baby was also addicted and spent a long time in the hospital in withdrawal. She does not know who the father is because some f-ing adult used her for sex services to johns while giving her a fancy car and lots of "goodies" so she would "give services". This was a kid with straight As who had all the support she would ever need and on the fast track to college before she even graduated from high school. Now the grandparents are raising the child but they had to fight the State because CPS and other personnel get lots of money for taking the kid. They were determined to take the baby and adopt him out since he is a beautiful white little boy that would fetch a pretty penny in the adoptive process. If the grandparents did not have rich relatives and connections to the highest places, they would have lost this child to the System too. They do not even know where the mother is at this time who spends her time out on the street and working "McJobs" while living with other addicts. She appears and then disappears at will. At this time all the promise she had is not panning out for her or her son as far as her involvement in his life or her own once-promising future.

This is not a rare story, it is happening all over my community. All the authorities do is become punitive and pretend whatever crimes that are committed are *not* related to that terrible habit. I wish we could just legalize it so addicts would not have to hit little old ladies over the heads for their purses and that addicts would be able to go get their fix like they do in Europe ~ and better yet get help.

I am just glad you guys are here! I am going nuts trying to figure out how to deal with all this as are other family members who love my son (like his 2 brothers and his dad who agonize over it too). We have become open about the use and try not to condemn him although sometimes it is hard when your gas money comes up missing or something in the house is taken to be pawned. I am low income and do not have much to steal so it hurts the household if it happens, although I have learned to take precautions and not have money or expensive things around or easily available.

Often the advice is to throw the kid out of our lives, but all I have seen with that "solution" is that the user finds other ways to use and worse, they end up dead, raped, used and become "users" of people themselves, it seems to make the situation worse. It seems to me that to do that is giving the message that all they are is a piece of s**t and it only enforces the low self esteem and hopelessness that comes along with addiction. Many recovered addicts tell me that if they had not had their families they would not have made it, so I do not see this as helping except to get the person out of YOUR life for your own relief. While I do understand this relief, I also do not think that real love should be like that. Real love is always there and while it has to be firm and have limits, that love is something that needs to be transmitted to the user so they know somewhere in their addled brains that they always have hope.

But that is my take. The truth is it is hard for the non-users and so it is something that challenges every fiber of your being. Thanks for being there, I do have a great deal of appreciation for this group!

Love, Cat in Seattle