My husband is disabled with MS. So we work out an equitable plan. For instance, H\he drives me around, shops and pays the bills, I work. I don't 'do' traffic, he does. I don't park. I get dropped off at work at the front door and picked up up the same way. He hates his physical weakness---mowing the lawn is something he's finally left behind a year or so ago. Sex is an act (sacred he calls it) out of mutual desire. We attend each others needs, likes and dislikes. A marriage is has a fluid, changing element to it, since we never know how much 'time' we have we pay attention. We buy each other things, although I suppose you could say "I" buy it given where the actual income comes from.
I always say it's hard to be a hetero-feminist, because of bullshit like this link. (Not that it's easy for the bi or gay or transgendered feminists!) We question everything related to hetero-sex, sexuality and sexual attractiveness. In fact we put a lot of work questioning this things it seems. Heterosexism is the word, the defining element IMO. I work around a lot of educated women who while they reap the benefits of feminism, don't understand where these 'rights' came from. The younger women seem to 'get' it better than my own peers of early middle age. Still, things like wedding rings, type, cost and size of the diamond are fairly common topics of conversation in the younger age group. I also hear a lot of angst from the single ones about 'men' and the behavior of men.
So, in my personal bottom line goes something like this; In a misogynist rape culture, women are ALWAYS measured by sex, sexuallity, availablity of it, the kind of it, the worth of it etc. It's one of the thing feminists fight against, or at least bring to light
and no, it's not the same for the entitled male, but a decent man doesn't see women as whores, or a organization of body orifices/sacred sperm receptacles there for his viewing/using pleaure in the first place. 'Society' still does.
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