Of course my grad school has another hardbound copy in its library. It has physical existence: once upon a time I did that.
I dont think my daughter wants to read it, really. Her life is so complicated.
On the upside, very much the unexpected upside, my daughter started taking a program from some outfit called Landmark, and earlier this year I got a call out of the blue where she went full on into reconciliation mode. I was staggered. She had made some massive internal shift, and was owning her own part in our relationship.
My internal shifts had been more incremental over the last couple of years of solitude, but my subconscious had started floating up bits of meaningful things I already knew but had not exactly meditated deeply on. Pieces of the Serenity Prayer kept nudging me until I let go of my son, & understood that it is entirely up to him whether he wants to be in contact or not. Pieces of the Our Father kept nudging me until the two lines about forgiveness unfolded, and essentially told me, Yes, everybody.
So my shifts in consciousness met my daughters and we are now a family for the first time in many decades. It feels
miraculous. The Goddess smiled.