One of my siblings wants me to help her remain in the closet our father left decades ago.

[Hekate]

20. Pnwmom, you are a good soul

I only saw your OP because it was on the front page, and responded because I know you online and know you are a good and kind soul.

Follow that soul and follow the path you were meant to take. A completed book is a monumental personal accomplishment, and taking it into the world even more so. Use your own name — even if you caved in to your sister’s pressure, the sad fact is that she would always know. That burden is hers to carry, not yours.

In 2002 my dissertation was “published” as they say, but only in the world of academia. 250 pages of heart’s blood, sweat, and tears. There were several people who advised me to publish it in the real world, and my Advisor wanted to give me the name of his own agent. Given the nature of my graduate program and my topic, there was a lot of personal stuff in there.

While I was writing it, family members were so pleased, and insisted I send them copies when it was done. In my foolishness I did so. When my mother got her copy and started it, she went ballistic and stopped reading after 20 pages. Whatever it was she said to my siblings I don’t exactly know, only that I let my family crush me. To this day I cannot bring myself to reread it.

I had plenty to do in the antiwar movement from 2002 onwards, but I never contacted an agent or publisher.

Pnwmom, please do not let yourself be dissuaded. What you do matters to you, your kids, and anyone who reads your words.


PS: Please let us know when it comes out! 💕