A question for any trans people or anyone who might know. I was just in an online meeting

[Oneironaut]

6. I can empathize, since coming out can seem like it's out of nowhere (when it isn't).

I don’t really begrudge cisgender (non-trans) people who don’t understand. I imagine it’s kind of like how I don’t understand being born in a body that matches my gender. Coming out one day usually comes out of left field because a lot of us tried to play a part that wasn’t ours for years. We carry guilt, shame, and self-hatred for being who we are. We’re told to “just be normal,” so we desperately follow that advice.

Someone on Reddit had an interesting take. Imagine being born with a goofy clown mask that you are forced to wear 24/7. All people can see is the mask, and that’s what they know you as. Only you know that there is a real face underneath. The mask is itchy, hot, and gross, and eventually, you can’t take it anymore and have to take it off.

Nobody recognizes you. Some of them even want you to put the mask back on. However, you can’t - your face has felt freedom for the first time, and you never want to go back.

So, there probably is resentment, but she wants a husband that never existed. All that she saw and longs for was a goofy, uncomfortable mask.