Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

LGBT

In reply to the discussion: I really need some advice [View all]

Bernardo de La Paz

(51,998 posts)
7. As to that specifically
Tue Jun 16, 2020, 05:32 AM
Jun 2020

I don't have specific advice about gender dysphoria. It would be best to search for info specifically (you probably have a number of times already) and speak with people with personal / professional experience. I have two thoughts, though.

1) I think what I wrote applies to all the surround of that issue and may be a help there.

2) On the specific issue, perhaps one way to look at it is; rather than dysphoria, turn it into a search for greater euphoria. In other words, love yourself as you are so as to let the dysphoria dissolve away, but keep looking if you feel there might be states or ways of being that might be more satisfying or more fun. Love yourself in the here and now with all your quirks and foibles and wobbly bits and lack of other wobbly bits. When something about yourself irks you, laugh at it, and then maybe explore a bit around it.

2b) Remember that the male/female dichotomy is in many ways a false dichotomy. We are all blends, and you are more advanced than most people in realizing that. Further, there are many ways to accomplish blends and many kinds of blends.

The ying-yang symbol in asian culture has the opposite colour dot in each half for a reason which is that nothing is pure and we should accept that. Further, the two halves are chasing each other around and around, which illustrates that life is a dynamic balance. Sometimes the balance is that the dot might be small and sometimes the dot is large.

I know a guy who shaves his head and has a large full beard. When he sells some craft beer at the farmers market he usually wears a robe which could be a bit feminine could be a bit wizard-like, sometimes with a wizard hat. He sometimes wears a wig. He almost always paints his fingernails and sometimes even paints them between customers. He's intelligent and wonderfully cheerful.

Love yourself while acknowledging and accepting your faults and things you might consider flaws in some lights. At the same time, remember that you can evolve and improve. Even so, life will never be perfect, but you can make it interesting and increase your peace and enjoyment overall.

There are an infinite number of ways of being and experience. We rarely have to go all the way down a line to get where we need to go. And there are multiple lines of exploration available at any given time. Take care, be safe, have fun. At any given moment accept what you can't change, do something toward changing what you can change, and seek the wisdom to tell the two apart.

Good luck on your adventures.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I really need some advice [View all] vercetti2021 Jun 2020 OP
Not being a counselor, I don't know the right words to say. madaboutharry Jun 2020 #1
Post removed Post removed Jun 2020 #2
Don't let it get you depressed duforsure Jun 2020 #3
You are alright. Don't worry about discover who you are. Be yourself. And it will get better, easier Bernardo de La Paz Jun 2020 #4
I love that vercetti2021 Jun 2020 #6
As to that specifically Bernardo de La Paz Jun 2020 #7
I dearly love everything Bernardo said above lambchopp59 Jun 2020 #5
Best advice is see a professional. n/t Odoreida Jun 2020 #8
Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»LGBT»I really need some advice»Reply #7