Definitions of masculinity and femininity that used to hold, like muscles and dresses, don't really apply now. There is a lot more fluidity and flow.
As to depression, the late teens and twenties are tough years for that, but as time goes on a person gains more experience and more confidence, and they are able to balance things out more easily. You will too. Life gets better yet for you. It won't be perfect and there may be missteps but you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on being you with more experience. It can hurt sometimes, hurt hard maybe, but you can heal and become stronger.
Nobody has a perfect balance and the best of us question ourselves from time to time. The balance is dynamic, expressing some ways at some times, other ways at other times. Introspection is good, but it has its limits. Express yourself in ways that feel satisfying, calming. Express yourself flamboyantly or cautiously, as suits you.
Try not to define yourself too much, because that can confine yourself too. Life is what happens while we are making plans. Life is a dynamic balance.
I think it is less about finding out who you are and more about finding your way, finding your path, your balance. You are who you are, but your way, your path, your future are unwritten, are open. Have goals, be prepared for failures from time to time, but move forward in the present time with an eye to the future and learning from experience.
Be here now.
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