Regarding domestic violence...

[the_working_poor]

10. makes you wonder how much 'abuse' was him trying to fight back

My exwife abused me emotionally.
I tried to fight back, yelling, screaming. The usual. But I never won a fight.
I was always in the wrong.

always.

in 12 years I was never right about anything... not once.

I don't know how that's even physically possible.

Then I found out she had cheated on me during a trip we both took to my parents....
I didn't hit her. I didn't even lay a finger on her but GOD knows I wanted to. After everything else she'd done to me, MADE me accept quietly that was ... that was a bridge too far.
our marriage ended that night. I tried counseling. But whenever we went to the shrink it felt like I was the one who made all the mistakes. that it was all my fault (female marriage counselor.shrink).
Then she got a new boyfriend online and told me there was nothing I could do about it.

no matter what I tried, however romantic I was, however conciliatory or obsequious I was... nothing mattered.
She said if I'd hit her for cheating on me she would have fought the divorce with an attorney.
Not like she could get a much sweeter deal that she got anyway... everything.

I didn't hit her becasue I didn't see a point to it.
I'm not an abuser of women. But I'll never trust them again either.

I have PTSD of a sort no one wants to admits exists or cares to try and 'cure'.
I'm an abused ex-husband and no one gives a shit.