Lack of male role models, abusive childhood, subsequent self hatred.

[lumberjack_jeff]

5. I think your experience re: masculinity is, to a much smaller degree, experienced by most young men.

Boys who grow up with no men (not "male", but "men&quot role models either internalize the attitudes of their mothers, aunts and sisters, or they reject them and adopt the attitudes of masculinity that are invented by 12 year old boys imagination.

From the perspective of social behavior, the former may have some advantages, but from the perspective of personal self-esteem and self-respect the latter may have some advantages. "Manners" usually comes with healthy helping of self-loathing.

The capacity of your father to mess up your psychological health is the flipside of a father's capacity to build good psychological health. Your experience, and the experience of others who experienced similar neglect and abuse shows how important a job being a father is.

Am I explaining myself clearly? If fatherhood was superfluous and unimportant, bad ones wouldn't have much effect.

Society is willing to do little to fix this problem. Schools hire women to teach girls to become teachers. Moms raise daughters to become custodial parents. The boys who enter their spheres of influence learn their roles as worker drones, on the periphery.